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I was reading some news and commentary at Marketwatch.com and I happened to like the words of Mr. Paul Farell. I am posting it here because it kind of resembles the situation of many human beings myself included.
Hopefully you can get some lessons from it also. Guys, just let go of the love for money. It will come to you naturally by the grace of God.
By Paul B. Farrell, MarketWatch
ARROYO GRANDE, Calif. (MarketWatch) — Psst, don’t bother reading this if you’re certain you’re not addicted to money, investing, credit-card debt or overspending. Yes, addicted. But how do you know? Put on a behavioral-economics thinking cap and try this self-diagnosis:
Admit it, money runs your life. You’re trapped. Yes, you really are addicted to money.
Do you crave it ... gotta have it ... but never have enough ... you think of it often ... it consumes you ... work at a dull job just for the money ... live for vacations, weekends ... bet on lotto, sports, slots ... delay buying a new car ... constantly worried about price of gas, paying kids college, hospital bills, taxes ... Social Security ... half of Americans don’t have enough to retire ... will work till you drop.
Maybe it’s the economy, markets, bad luck, government, politicians, whatever, you’re on the edge of a money addiction.
Admit it, money runs your life. You’re trapped. Yes, you really are addicted to money. I get it. Been there. Years ago I was chasing a dream, obsessed, passionate about a new venture, jockeying balances on $75,000 in debt. Eleven credit cards, high-stress, relentless anxiety. So admit it, you’re a money addict.
Denial? The truth is, tens of millions of Americans are addicted to money. But can’t admit it. Can’t talk about those bad feelings. You feel less than, cheap, something’s wrong, you’re missing opportunities, not living up to your potential. You’re in denial, maybe a little, maybe a lot, likely depressed, hurting.
And it’s getting worse as today’s global trends spread beyond your control, intensify anxiety. Election fears. Fiscal cliffs. Collapsing euro zone. Credit Risks. China slumping. Climate. Volatility. Rising food prices. Energy independence. Fed’s QE strategies. $16 trillion debt rising. Iran war threats. Tax increases. Runaway health-care costs. Fear of a cascading global depression.
America’s Nation of Addicts: money, investing, credit cards, trapped
Noted psychotherapist Anne Wilson Schaef once called America a “nation of addicts.” Money, obesity, Viagra, drugs, booze, everything, a nation of addicts. Whatever’s yours, once you fall into your addiction, you no longer see the world objectively. I know.
Many years ago I took time out of the business world, worked as a professional helping addicts, alcoholics and their families deal with their problems, researching the addictive brain. A few hundred went through the Betty Ford Center, including executives, doctors, rock stars, actors, government officials, professional athletes, royalty and other celebrities. I traveled nationwide and overseas doing interventions.
Addictions kills. Behind the insanity, pain and denial you see self-destructive behavior: Throwing away hundred-million-dollar careers, successful businesses, mansions, beautiful families, while destroying their health, killing people, convictions, prisons, suicides, horrible deaths. Once in their private hell, nothing matters.
Many, like my parents, never make it out, get trapped, blind to the destruction they leave in their wake. In denial. Lost. I’m lucky, in recovery almost 40 years.
Crazy-making money addictions driving the America’s economy
So, yes, I’m biased: As a journalist what I write about is affected by my experience. No denial there. The fact is that 12% of Americans, roughly 37 million, are chemically dependent addicts and alcoholics. But far worse, their self-destructive behavior has a huge negative impact on another 110 million Americans: their children, spouses, parents, loved ones, friends, co-workers, accident victims. Costs in the hundreds of billions.
What I’ve learned specifically over the past 40 years is that an addiction to money is just as deadly as a line of coke or a night at the corner saloon for an alcoholic. The market’s up. The high kicks in. You panic. Crashes. You panic. Nothing you do makes much difference. You’re chasing the high? You’re trying to get over the hangover? That’s addiction. Both feel just as bad.
Nobody wants that. But addicts can’t stop. You need to break the cycle, so here’s a 12-step program for money addicts. Similar to more than 200 other 12-step recovery plans for all kinds of addictions.
Practice these principles, and enjoy some peace of mind that you’ve lost by obsessing over the market’s roller-coaster ride:
Step 1: Admit you’re powerless over money, your life’s unmanageable
This is the biggest hurdle, getting past the denial, the block, you probably don’t believe you can change. Well you can. Start by getting honest ... admit you’re powerless over your money, investments, the economy ... admit your money is out-of-control ... write it down, say it loud, share it with a trusted friend ... then get into action.
Step 2: Believe a power greater than you can restore you to sanity
This has nothing to do with religion, you don’t have to believe in god, get spiritual, go to church or find a guru in Tibet. The point is simple, you finally realize your way isn’t working. So here’s your new formula: You can’t manage it doing it your way, you surrender, you know you need help. You come to believe, and trust, deep in your gut, there is a solution for you and something out there (“Not You!) will restore you to sanity.
Step 3: Make a decision to turn your addiction over to a higher power
Remember, your way hasn’t been working, you need help, go get it. Maybe a mentor, wise uncle, coach, therapist or financial adviser, maybe more schooling, maybe rediscover that “still small voice” that your wild obsessive money-self has been ignoring. Different strokes for different folks and different addictions. You’ll know the power talking to you is the right one because you’ll resist its solutions.
Step 4: Write an inventory of your money habits, finances, investing life
What a relief, all that wakes you ruminating in the middle of the night. The good, the bad, the ugly stuff. Everything. On paper. No more secrets. No more denial. Nothing missing. You’re a business, your accountant wants a quarterly report. Just do it.
Step 5: Read your inventory to a trusted friend, confident, adviser
No more secrets. Reveal everything about your money addiction, the good, the bad, the ugly. I remember the obvious solutions one successful attorney came up with after being pushed into doing an inventory on his financial life. He resisted doing it for a long time, till his problems had become unbearable, and even he couldn’t take it any more.
Step 6: Believe you can change, and believe the universe will help you
Time to let go of what’s holding you back. Listen, you’ve heard this many times: “Whatever you believe you can achieve.” Believe, trust, it will happen, you will change.
Step 7: Ask that universal power to take it away
Now get into action. Trust you can do it. Combine your goal of letting go with some ritual. Maybe an anonymous gift to someone in need or asking forgiveness from someone you resent, maybe releasing balloons to the heavens with your message, even lighting a candle in church. You can go help someone else who’s got the same money addiction work these steps, find peace of mind. They’ve all worked for me at turning points.
Step 8: Make a list of everybody harmed by your money addictions
Yes, you may be at the top of the list. But mostly, others were hurt by your habits with money. They are always an ongoing source of anxiety, fears, worries. List all of them.
Step 9: Now make your amends, change your habits
In the original it reads, “make direct amends to such people except when to do so would injure them or others.” Trust your heart knows how and when. The best way? A “living amends:” You change your behavior, stop doing what got you in trouble, hurt others.
Step 10: When you backslide, keep working the steps, don’t give up
Remember the frog climbing out of the well? Two steps up, one back. This process doesn’t guarantee immediate sainthood. Just don’t give up. Humbly and promptly ask for forgiveness, keep working on changing if you relapse into old addictive habits.
Step 11: Discover peace of mind in a new meditation, just for you
The original 12 steps focuses on meditation, prayer; find a method that works for you. Maybe you’re like me, don’t trust the god you grew up with. So get in touch with that “still small voice” inside you, begin trusting your inner self when it shows you something new about that life spirit that balances goodness and darkness. Reflect on it.
For more, read “Millionaire Meditation: Stress Meditation for Wall Street, Corporate America & Entrepreneurs.” In writing it I discovered millions of Americans get into this zone by playing golf, tennis, swimming, hiking, fishing, running, martial arts, gardening, creativity and writing, to mention a few. And in this new zone you’ll discover something extraordinary about yourself and your addiction to money.
Step 12: Trust your inner spirit, go help others and live your life to the max
The 12 steps work. Your addiction to money, finance, investing and a material like doesn’t have to run your life. You can master it and enjoy a more peaceful life. Practice these principles daily, pass them on, help others, and in the process you will feel free and alive.
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